Today's Topic: Many of us share lots of aspects of our diabetes lives online for the world to see. What are some of the aspects of diabetes that you choose to keep private from the internet? Or from your family and friends? Why is it important to keep it to yourself? (This is not an attempt to get you out of your comfort zone. There is no need to elaborate or tell personal stories related to these aspects. Simply let us know what kinds of stories we will never hear you tell, and why you won't tell them.)
As I
But, there is one aspect surrounding it that I don't share. I have spoken to Angry about it once or twice but it's not something we discuss on a regular basis. I have never, ever spoken to my friends, acquaintances, or colleagues about it.
I don't share my diabetes fears. Why do I "keep it to myself?" I feel like I may burden others. I don't want them to worry about me or make it seem like I want them to feel sympathetic.
As all diabetics understand, there are many things that can cause fear in our hearts and minds. My fears will sound very familiar to any diabetic in the world.
I'm going to break the silence and share some with you now.
I'm afraid of the "dead in bed" syndrome. I have been lucky all my life to wake up if I'm having a low in the middle of the night. How long can that luck continue? What if I go to bed one night and I don't wake up?
I'm afraid of having a hypo while driving and hurting or killing someone. If I go low and hurt myself or (heaven forbid) kill myself, so be it. But no one else should have to be affected by my blood sugars. I'm not sure I could live with myself it this ever happened.
I'm afraid of complications (aren't we all?). I realize that management isn't always the key. I keep my HbA1c at a good level and don't have any signs of complications (yet). But I know that people with great management still have complications while others that may not have good A1c levels never have a complication.
I also fear dementia and Alzheimer’s. I've read a lot recently about a higher risk for diabetics. I don't want to be a burden on Angry if I do end up with memory issues. I think this is my biggest fear.
My fears lurk and they pop into my head just to give me something a bit scary to think about (usually when I'm trying to get to sleep at night).
A continuous glucose monitor should 'help' with the hypo related fears. A Dexcom will arrive on my doorstop in a few days. I'll certainly be happy to have a smaller list!
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That's a pretty long list of fears and as you mentioned, I think the Dexcom will give you a sense of safety that you're lacking now. Fingers crossed:-)
ReplyDeleteI have these fears, too, and often don't tell my wife or family about them -- if only as a shielding mechanism, to not bring them down and make them all unhappy along with me. We certainly have and do talk about them sometimes, but nearly as much as I fear and dwell on them.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I have the same fears. I'm glad you are getting a CGM soon, I couldn't imagine my life without one anymore (helps eliminate the low fears some!).
ReplyDeleteRight there with you Liz! I have only shared even some of those fears with the hubby - and he hates that I do. He wants to ignore that as a possibility and gets almost hostile if I bring it up (DiB in particular) "Well then make sure that can't happen". Well I do my best!
ReplyDeleteLove you lady!
I am so happy that you are getting a Dexcom!! :-) I have horrible hypo fears too, and having the dex is a life-saver. I am so excited to read about your first impressions and all that jazz!
ReplyDeleteYes, I understand because I share them too. Very glad that you're able to get a Dexcom to give you a heads up on a swinging blood sugar. That should calm some of those fears.
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