#DBlogWeek Day 3 - Clean it Out

Welcome to the Sixth Annual Diabetes Blog Week!  This is my first year participating as I've just started my DBlog.  A huge thank you goes out to Karen at Bitter~Sweet for all her hard work to make this week a success!

Today's Topic:  Yesterday we kept stuff in, so today let's clear stuff out.  What is in your diabetic closet that needs to be cleaned out?  This can be an actual physical belonging, or it can be something you're mentally or emotionally hanging on to.  Why are you keeping it and why do you need to get rid of it?

I have an old-timey diabetic memory that, many years after that fact, still bothers me.

I was diagnosed during the summer of 1974 (at the age of 7).

I was admitted to the hospital and was placed on IVs for insulin and other liquids to drive the ketones down.  My stay lasted about a week.

During that week I was in a room that held beds for other children that were there for various reasons. 

During the day all was good as my parents were there to visit and doctors and nurses were in and out to check on me and to speak to me about diabetes.

But the nights?  Not so good.  The other kids spent a lot of time being mean to me. 

Those kids would talk to each other all the time and when I tried to join the conversation, they would act like they couldn't hear me.  A feeling of loneliness set it very quickly.

When I'd have to use the bathroom, it was so very awkward to push the IV cart along with me.  That was very funny to these kids and they made sure to laugh and tell me how dumb I looked.

They'd tell me I was ugly.  I had lost a lot of weight and quite a bit of hair before diagnosis.  Children should not be self-conscious but during that week I certainly became that way. 

Having overheard the nurses telling me what I could and couldn't eat they would incessantly tease me about how I was a loser because I couldn't have candy or cookies (or anything with sugar).  When meals were served, at least one would ask me what I had for dessert on my tray since I didn't get any.  They would all laugh hysterically.

This memory still haunts me to this day.  It can bring me to tears if I think about it for too long.  It was so very long ago and I couldn't even tell you what any of those kids looked like or what their names were.

It's time to let go.  The memory itself is impossible to "clean out" from my brain.  But the sadness and frustration that it still causes needs to go. 

I'm going to work on this.  Starting right now.

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